Tumblr Mouse Cursors
  • Science Teacher: *points to board* If my velocity--
  • Me: *stands up and slams hands on desk* stARTS TO MAKE YOU SWEAT THEN JUST. *grabs the kid sitting next to you's shirt* DoN'T. *gets in their face* LET GO. *jumps on desk and rips off shirt* AND iF THE HeavEN AiN'T GOT A VACANCY, *runs into hallway* THEn WE JUsT THEN WE JuST AND WE JUST GET UP AnD GO. *busts out schools front doors and runs into traffic*

hannijar:

achelseabee:

#HE CHOOSES TO MAKE A FUCKING BUTTERFLY #of all things to test his magic #IF THAT IS NOT THE ESSENCE OF WHO MERLIN IS THEN I DON’t KNOW WHAT IS (ismere)

Reblogged from spoken-not-written

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

My roommate and his girlfriend got in the shower together and they’re… Talking about politics?

I was expecting to hear “OH GOD, HARDER,” not “George Washington was entirely correct in his prediction of what distinct parties would do to politics as a whole.”

Nope nevermind, there it is, apparently political debate is just their form of foreplay

STOP REBLOGGING THIS HE HAS A TUMBLR

fortheloveofotps:

sqvad:

pansoph:

pansoph:

i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere 

image

i’m pissing myself

jesus christ

jesus crust